Six years ago I became a Grandma. It was one of the biggest highlights of my life. Nine months prior to this I didn’t think so, but it is amazing how things can change. Let me take you back to the summer of 2011 when I had just gotten home from a business trip. My daughter told me that she wanted to go out to dinner to catch up, and I eagerly agreed. We decided to go to a restaurant that was about 15 minutes away, so we had some good car time to catch up over the happenings during the week while I was gone. We settle into our tables and review the menu and order our drinks. Still catching up and having a good time, the waitress returns to our table to take our order. I have absolutely no recollection of what I ordered, but I remember that my daughter ordered pasta. What a weird thing to remember! It was while we were waiting for our food to come that my daughter drops the big-ass bombshell on the table. “Mom, I am pregnant.” As soon as I hear this news my head literally drops and my chin hits my chest. I am silent as my head is floating, my eyes are closed, and I think I was holding my breath. It is now that I should tell you my daughter was 18 and had just graduated high school.
When I finally lifted my head again, I think I said, “What?!?! Morgan, you just graduated! What about college? Are you keeping the baby? Did you get pregnant on purpose? I honestly don’t remember any of her answers other than, “Tony and I are having the baby and keeping the baby.” Somehow we got through dinner. At times I wanted to kill her. At times I felt bad for them. At times I wanted to scream and yell. I needed to digest….and digest more than whatever I just ate since I don’t remember what it was.
Shortly after I learned the biggest, most shocking news of my life, and I knew for sure that their plans were to completely make this work and were fully committed to everything it meant, that is when my Grandma switch got turned on. And on it was! From that point forward I was as supportive as I could be. I situated the basement in my house to be a perfect studio apartment for the expectant family. I threw her a lovely baby shower. I listened to all that she needed to talk about, and I provided as much insight and guidance as I could. As Morgan got closer to full term she and Tony told me that I could be in the birthing room with them. I just won the lottery! Really?! I can be a part of the most intimate experience of your life? Yes, please!
Around this same time I was reading a very spiritual book about the Native American Indian culture. I recall reading that when a baby is born, their souls are wide open for a brief few minutes until the chaos of the birth settles down, then their soul settles into itself. It is during this very ripe and pure few minutes that you can talk to the soul and say a prayer over the soul before it settles in. The prayer that you say over the child sets their essence for life. This was even more of the reason why I had just hit the lottery!
Fast forward a couple months and it is getting closer to Morgan’s due date. We actually had a massive snow storm about 2 weeks prior to her due date. I was so nervous about the possibility of her going into labor during that horrible storm and us not being able to get to the hospital that I actually rented a room at a hotel a couple of miles from the hospital so at least we would be close. It was a fun night as me, Morgan, Tony and my son all had a giant “slumber party” the night that the snow was relentless. We ordered pizza. We played board games. We talked. I don’t really think we slept. Nothing happened. Nothing other than a great little memory we created! When Tony was driving us home the following day after the snow storm was over we were driving through plowed areas that nearly seemed like tunnels since the snow was piled so high all around us. Tony drove masterfully. It was at that point that I realized this man would do ANYTHING to protect his son.
Fast forward another couple of weeks and I get a phone call in the very early morning hours from Morgan saying that she was in labor. I had spent the night at my then boyfriend’s house and Morgan and Tony were at our house. When Morgan called she said they were leaving immediately to go to the hospital. I don’t think I had ever left a house as quickly as I did that morning. I jumped in the car and just took off driving. I got to a certain point and thought to myself, “crap, I don’t know the best and quickest way to get to the hospital coming from this direction.” I was already driving on autopilot, so when I finally “woke up” I thought I could figure out a short cut. Either Morgan called me or I called her, but either way, I was freaking out. Although I wasn’t lost I didn’t know exactly where I was going and I had horrible visions that I would really get lost and miss the birth of my grandson. So, when I was on the phone with Morgan I was totally freaking out and asking where they were, how long it would be until they got to the hospital, how far apart her contractions were, and probably a million other things I crazily shouted out. I knew I couldn’t type in directions on my phone while driving like I was, so I called my sister to ask her to look up directions on her computer and to guide me. What a crazy lunatic I was at this moment — couldn’t think straight at all because all I could think was that I had a tiny window of time to say a prayer over this baby!!! While I was in the middle of my mania I saw a garbage man on his early morning route, so all wide eyed, foaming at the mouth, and voice stammering, I screeched at him to please tell me how to get to the hospital from this road. Somehow my dumb ass gets to the hospital. And probably even before Morgan and Tony, but I truly don’t remember!
So I don’t know what all my craziness was about because, of course, he was born hours later. But what a good time the three of us had while we waited! We talked, Tony made a Facebook page for Chase, Tony shot videos, and we laughed and had a great time. Then shit got real. The intense labor started and it was show time. The nurses were phenomenal and did everything! The doctor really came in for the delivery part and that was all. I did all I could, along with Tony, to comfort Morgan and to coach her through the delivery. It was such a beautiful, loving, and surreal time for all of us. As soon as Chase was born I was so relieved. Relieved for Morgan that the delivery was over, and simply relieved that he was here and healthy. The second they put him on the cart to do all that they have to, I moved as quickly and quietly as I could to get right next to him. I tried to be as stealth-like as possible because NOTHING was going to stop me from saying my prayer over him! Luckily they were so busy doing all that they have to do and it is so routine to them that they didn’t notice (or chose not to say anything because I am far from being Ninja-like!) me standing literally right next to the cart and being as close to him as possible. I closed my eyes and prayed for this sweet little baby to know true happiness in this life and to live it and exude it and show and teach it to others, and to simply be a good and honest person. I opened my eyes with tears in them over the sheer beauty of the vision I had in my mind’s eye of his life and quietly walked back to Morgan and Tony.
Fast forward six years later and, so far, I see and hear nearly every day that Chase is the happiest, sweetest little man in the world. Was it my prayer or the fact that he has so many people in his life that love him to pieces? I know it is both, but I also know that it is inner-connected too. I know his happy soul brings love to him, and I know his love brings happiness to others.
So where are Morgan and Tony now? Their relationship didn’t make it, yet they are fantastic co-parents. They both put their love for Chase above all else, so that makes the co-parenting easier for them. God bless them for this! They are both with different people now and in fantastic relationships. I truly love Morgan’s boyfriend and I truly love Tony and his girlfriend. And both of their respective partners are incredible with Chase. They truly love him as well. What a lucky little man to have such a huge circle of love around him at all times. As I said earlier, Tony would do anything to keep Chase safe. Absolutely anything, and I know that deep in my soul. Morgan is a great mother and works hard with Chase on his learning and manners and doing things for himself, all of which makes him a smart, kind and independent child.
Six years ago was life-changing for many of us. I will forever be grateful to Morgan and Tony for allowing me the opportunity to witness such beauty, and also the opportunity to test-out the prayer theory. I know in my heart that his little, old soul was destined to be a good and happy one regardless. I just like to think that my prayer created a mirror. A mirror for Chase’s happiness and love to exude off of him and make those closest to him as happy and loving as he is. I definitely know that is the case for me and my husband, two of his very loving and proud grandparents! For everything you are, thank you, Sweet Baby Chase!